Complicated Knots

Shoelaces

Shoelaces are my enemy. I hate them. In my ideal world, we all wear electronic shoes that tighten securely once you put your feet in them, and you can hit a button to release the tension for taking them off. Unfortunately, I cannot buy this shoe yet, so I have to deal with all the hellish knavery that shoelaces bring to my world.

No one really knows when shoelaces first came into existence. However, a recent discovery of a Bronze-Age denizen called Otzi the Iceman reveals that they were in use as of 3000 BC. It wasn't until the 20th century that shoelaces rose in popularity (I always said I was born in the wrong century). Before this, shoes tended to be slip-ons, or else were fastened with buckles.

My new word for the day: Aglet.
This is the annoying tip of your shoelace that inevitably rots away and leaves you with crummy laces that fall apart and cause you to trip over yourself on the way to class. They are usually made of plastic or metal in modern shoes. Anyone who has ever had the miserable experience of trying to relace shoes that have had their aglets fall off knows exactly how horrible life can be. The feeling I wind up experience is akin to that of trying and failing repeatedly to thread a needle, your arms turning to a fiery jelly that makes you want nothing more than to stop what you are doing and hammer your head against a wall multiple times.


Not to mention having some jerk tie your shoelaces together.

Apparently, though, on a shoe with 6 eyelets there are over 6 trillion possible ways to lace your shoes. I cannot fathom this.